>Chips
>This little bulb secretes its own Venom and its own Toxins in its onion skin: if you cut it, it'll sting your eyes.
The Wizard Bulb gives you a mysterious look, because it knows most of the secrets of Magic. It knows the name of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. It knows how to tame a hippogriff, how to collect venom from a monstrous spider called Aragog, how to break off a basilisk fang, how to talk to snakes, how to use intermediate spells, how to levitate objects, how to turn into an animal, how to fight a troll, how to steal a dragon's egg, how to breathe underwater, how to fly a broomstick...
It knows almost all the secrets, but if it sees you as nothing more than a Muggle, it won't reveal anything to you.
If you own the full kit of the perfect wizard, this bulb can be a true companion on your adventures. Sure, it'll be jealous of your magnificent wizard hat that it can't wear (who wouldn't be?), but it won't hesitate to lend you a hand. Treat it to a Wizardry spell.
If you know nothing about Magic and you'd rather let your muscles do the talking, or lose yourself in scientific studies thousands of pages long, this bulb is perfect for making up for your weaknesses. While you excel in your favorite field, this bulb will work hard to reduce the opponent's MP and TP, or force them to waste their TP on Antidote.
Its strategy: Hit and Run! It's the strategy of vandals and mosquitoes. It's most unpleasant to be on the receiving end of it with a good AI behind it. You can choose to target it and try to squash it, but you'll lose a lot of energy and TP in the process. Meanwhile, a seasoned opponent will have boosted themselves and pulled out the Bazooka they got for Christmas. And if you don't, you'll gradually lose life and the ability to act and move. Heads I win, tails you lose. This bulb really is a true wizard.
If you know nothing about Magic, everything your summon says will be filtered by the Ministry, and you'll only understand a tenth of what it's trying to tell you. This bulb will also come in very handy if you happen to run into a Dementor (I wouldn't wish it on you, it's rarely pleasant). If you notice memory loss, it may come from the rewriting of events you shouldn't have seen. Don't worry about a thing, this little bulb remembers everything. No dragon has ever flown over London, and the Queen of England has never found a Philosopher's Stone. You've never gotten lost in Diagon Alley and you've never tasted butterbeer. You've never watched Twilight or Fifty Shades of Grey, and you've never been bored in art class. You've never cried watching a romantic movie, and Snape has never punished you in Potions class. Owls don't replace mail carriers, and you've never ended up in a flying car. No fireplace is used to transport leeks, and the moderator's rabbit is not a Portkey. All of this is, of course, false.
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